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barbed wire​/​holy land

from fields by ratwyfe

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religious trauma machine go brrrrrr

lyrics

when i was 12 years old in catholic school,
i learned life wasn’t fair
got called into the principal’s,
completely unprepared to talk about
rumors that were going around
got asked if i could tone it down
and be a better role model for all the younger kids
but i thought my sexuality was already well-hid

so if u tell me i’m going to hell i’ll say that i’m already here
cus i’d rather chill with satan
than be catholic and queer/than keep living life in fear
feeling like the world’s against u
for the people u want pressed against u
hurts more than anyone can understand
since when is there barbed wire around the holy land?

so i started quoting bible verses
lost myself in shallow worship
turned against the love that i was trying to keep down
when everything i was scared to be
got shown off right in front of me
i couldn’t help but act as if they shouldn't have been proud

so if u tell me i’m going to hell i’ll say that i’m already here
cus i’d rather chill with satan
than be catholic and queer/than keep living life in fear
feeling like the world’s against u
for the people u want pressed against u
hurts more than anyone can understand
since when is there barbed wire around the holy land?

so go ahead, call me sacriligious
cus i no longer choose to listen
to anything that tells me that the way i am is wrong
ive done my time and served my sentence
of self hatred and blind repentance
and if you have a problem you can take it up with god

so if u tell me i’m going to hell i’ll say that i’m already here
cus i’d rather chill with satan
than keep living life in fear
feeling like the world’s against u
for the people u want pressed against u
hurts more than anyone can understand
since when is there barbed wire around the holy land?

credits

from fields, released September 4, 2020

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ratwyfe Philadelphia, Pennsylvania

20
i sing :)

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